Salam. Ahhh, been a while since I mess around with this bloq, heheh, hmm, so anything new? Heheh, for me, nothing’s new, just leading a bending life, heh, just hoping so it wouldn’t break though. I wanna post up something before the CNY, but uhh, nothing interesting to be told, so it resulted to this. Heheh, better than never I guess.

It’s already morning, been reading comix all day long, just finish reading Battle Royale, hehe, not a good bedtime stories though, If you get what I meant, haha, hmm, by reading this stuff, it kept me wondering, do we humans like that? I mean, feelings, we falls for it do we? Whatever kind of feelings, fear, hate, happy, not happy, passion, obsession, hurt, impaired, arrogant, ignorant, compassion, shabby, selflessness, emptiness, lonely all that kinda things, we do fall for it, izzit? If we do so, why would we have this so called ‘feelings’? We might be leading a better life without it, don’t we? And mind you, that’s not the main question here.

While leading our life, we had encountered many things, learnt much, met many people, too many to abide I might say, and it wouldn’t end here and now, it’s going on, on and on, till its time. So, uhm, while doing so, we make friends, best friends, regular friends, friend’s friend, special friends, so-so friends, get the picture yet? So, why do we make friends? Izzit for comfort? For securities? For assurance? For acknowledgement? Or for just being occupied? And so, what we take friends for? Person? Necessities? Asset? Compensation? And, uhh, don’t make me the bad guy here, I’m questioning all these so I wouldn’t forget where I stand on in this huge chessboard. Others may be pushing me around like a pawn, or I might make a step like a knight, who may know?

Also, I like to stress out, not all are like you, ok, maybe some would say using ‘you’ is inappropriate, it was like blaming others, rite? Huhu, I do think so, ok, revised, not all are like us, using ‘us’ would make us on the same guilty level eh? Heheh, or to be better, not all are like what we think it is, and to be best, some of us are thinking alike, similar, how similar? We best root that answer ourselves, individually.

You see, for me, feelings are like perceptions, feelings are quite obscured, flexible, not fixed, each people had their own perception for anything, rite? As so feelings are, and please do not count out that these two can also be fabricated, masqueraded, that what make feelings somewhat deceptive, unreliable. I’m not talking bout others feeling upon us, nope, I’m talking bout our feelings upon others, and by others, I didn’t meant the people that’s always around you. Simple example, you saw somebody stealing food, what would you say bout that guy? “OOHH! There’s a bad guy” and that’s hate, pop out just instantly from your head. Or rather you would say “maybe he’s hungry and got no money” and that’s sympathy, pop out just like that. Hypothetically, what you had thought, represent where you put yourself in this massive chessboard of world. And by challenging ourselves with these, we would know where we put ourselves and where we actually stand on. It’s not entirely true, but most of the time, it’s proven to be correct, try it yourself, you’ll know what I meant.

And so, we tend to make good friends with people we had gained trust. By trust, I meant those we can cope up with, those who make you feel wanted, those who acknowledge you, those you feel safe with, those who you can talk to. So we see here, friends are being tampered by feelings, lost of feeling mean lost of friends. I’ve seen many, but maybe not enough for me to make up to a conclusion, but for what I’ve seen, that is somewhat true. And do not count out for the deceptive part, which is most dangerous of all, like a chained cat waiting for a dying rat, waiting for the prey to drop inside the feeding bowl, and don’t be surprised when we are stabbed at the back and broken a neck at that. Hehe, so, last question for this posting, where do YOU stand on? Or rather, where do YOU put yourself at? Am I defying the question from myself? Nope, I’ve had my answers, do you? As always, I’m gone. Better off with these feeling for now I guess, that’s what had driven me to writing all these. Heheh.

Labels: hidup, kisah, life