Salam. my life has go on for already 21 years, but still, i'm depending on my parents. Arghh. after having nice talks with my friends last night, i've been thinkin', what am i goin' to do with my life after this? hahah, its not like i'll grad out with good pointer, but still, i'm hoping for it and i'll try gaining it, also my PR is not that good, i'm kinda hard to gain people trust and harder to being trusted. heh.

i've been living with myself only, never care bout what people would say bout me, never care bout my relationship with people, never think deep about anything, but, now only i realize, emotional is kinda complicated things, my ignorance before had never open my eyes into realizing it, heh.

even rite now, emotionally, everything seems to get mixed up together, fresnship, trust, love, hate, i dunno how to express myself, and rite now, i'm not yet living my life, i'm living a life of a son. and i'm being too dependant, and i kinda hate that nowadays. heh.

and later, i'll be living my own life (hopefully), gave back what my parents had gave to me, i'll be serving them back, i'll be serving my ownself, i'll be having my own family, and they'll depends on me. would i be able to do what my parents had done to me? would i be able to serve my family? would they be able to stand on me? and would i be able to complete my task as a Muslim father? would i be able to serve Him good as a man, a son, a husband and a father?

i've been tryin' to throw away my ignorant self, try to get a better self, and ah, thanks to Him for giving life to me, Mak and Ayah, thanks for letting me live. and ah, all my friends, thanks for acknowledging me. and ah, for that someone, hmm, i woudn't know how to say about my feeling upon you. i've never feel anything like this before, so ah, i wouldn't know how to response to it, man, i'm kinda feel sorry for myself. heh.

I never seem to understand, the time, the place and who I am; Define a way to stay alive, It's like I'm living a lie -In Flames : Free Fall-

so ah, salam. i'm gone. heh.