- HEAR me -

I saw you look away
Is what you've seen too much to take
Or are you blind and seeing nothing?

-Bullet For My Valentine : Hands Of Blood-

My heart is worn out to keep beating
My lungs exhausted by all this breathing
My mind's too tired to keep grieving
My throat is too sore for more screaming
My eyes too swollen for more weeping
My wounds are too dry for more bleeding
My blood too drained for more streaming

-Sentenced : My Slowing Heart-

-My Cloud-

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!!Let the Wind Blow Out the Light
( Sunday, August 27, 2006 )

Salam. hmmmhmmm, i totally forgot bout my father birthdate yesterday, hmm, until today only I realize, hmm, hope it wasn’t to late to wish my father for a well living and a long, happy life. Ayah, moga panjang umur dan murah rezeki, amin. hehe.

This morning, before i get off from bed, while listening to a song, I was looking back to my child life, what i've been doing then eh? haha, well, i've forgot most of them though, but what's been carved deep inside, I hope i'll never forget it though, it was a nice memories. Neway, we while were a child, haven't we all wished for a dream profession?

Well, that was during our childish year, hehe, we were trying to reach a rope up high, trying, trying, trying. When we grow abit older, when we could start thinking, we begin to realized that it had a tough path to went through, so bit-by-bit, we begin to lower the reaching hand, during the rebellious year age, we had completely lowered the reaching hand until it all just be a dream that we only could dreamt for, why make people happy when we ourselves suffer eh? Haha, while we were on teen age, we could start to have our own dream, and again, the reaching hand goes up high, reaching for the rope, and hope so it won’t be lowered like before

During our time, the three typical dream professions that all parents told their son/daughter to run for are of course…

1st: Doctor - Reputation and cash obviously
2nd: Pilot - Similar to the first, reputation and cash
3rd: Teacher - Respect and humanity

Why these three? Because during the 80’s, people thinks that these three are the best profession one could posses. But then, nowadays, the list of three had been completely re-sorted, as I would say, heh. Nowadays, I see that parents tend to had their son/daughter as one of these three…

1st: Singer – Popularities and cash,
2nd: Actor- Popularities and cash also
3rd: Celebrity – Same as the first two, popularities and cash, heh

Why? Heh. The side effect of all those reality TV shows perhaps? Fabricates people mentality. Dunno bout it though. You yourselves do the thinking, heh, so, I’m gone.

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!!A Second to React
( Saturday, August 26, 2006 )

Salam. Good day eh? Hope so. Few days ago, i've read bout a new trend that had been spreading like a disease through our Malaysian youth. This new trend, or fashion style, or they themselves rather to called it identity, is called Gothic. Personally, i like this style and also the ideology, but not like until i also dressed up and act up like they do. No man, definitely not. heheh. I have my own style to stand on.

I donno where do Gothic originated from, but from what i understand, Gothic's, they accept death (who doesn't eh?). and some even don't appreciate being alive (pity them though, haha), so they applied they ideology into a lifestyle, and so come the dark dressed people with pale face makeup, similar to the dead people during Christian funeral, neatly dressed up.

Even so, i never expect Gothic style to affect or how would you put it? hmm, penetrate, to penetrate Malaysian youth community, heh. I'm very sure music is the main factor here, a few rock band that had given through coverage by our media do brings in the Gothic style, but the ideology, i doubt it, entirely. Our media, they only take in the mainstream American band, and i would stress here, mostly, they are just poser, heh, but i don't blame them though, obviously, media would wanted a good sales potential stuff rite? so those band, they came up to the surface, and, as always, people would follow trendy stuff, rite?

Wateveritis, a big hand to them for trying so hard expressing themselves, dude, x panaih ka pakai coat tgh2 hari nih? Malaysia hangat oo, hahaha. Luckily, Gothic's haven't came all the way to Aloq Staq yet, or had it already? i haven't saw any, if so, i would have few pics with them, haha, rite, I'm gone.

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!!Flame in the burn out ashes…
( Sunday, August 20, 2006 )

Salam. After reading Dina’s blog, I feel like stating my feeling oso, heh, Dina said that nowadays guys is kinda hard to be trusted upon, even if they are those we should trust. Well, it’s true though. Dina also mentioned bout the guys in this “virtual world”, which is what we called The Internet, she said that guys in this “virtual world” couldn’t be trusted at all, I couldn’t agreed more, even if I’m a guy, I didn’t deny that that’s a true solid fact, I’ve been “living” in this “virtual world” for quite some time already, and I’ve met many types of people: perverts, scammers, hoaxers and whatever kinda terms that they legally obtained. Out of the total, I would say that below 30% only could be trusted in this “virtual world”, and that amount only do reveal their true self. The rest? They are those kinda that would legally obtain the bad-boy terms. Heheh. Why would it be like that? Cause in this “virtual world”, they could conceal themselves, and when people thought other wouldn’t know what they’d been doing, they’ll suddenly become almighty and will obviously, do as they wish. heh. It’s a nature though. And all these doesn’t only applied to guys’ k?

OK, back to the main issue, rite now, world had becoming wilder, can you believe that a person could slit the throat of a mom, just because she won’t give you money, man, people would do anything within their capabilities just for satisfaction, nowadays its damn dangerous to both male and female. They both are risked to different kinda threat, but female are more threatened though. Wateveritis, all these threats depend on our act and exposures upon the world and community that we live in. If you live in a hood; you’ll be risked to getting a drive-by. Get what I mean?

Here I quote a bit from Dina’s blog:

Think girls, think. Sweet smiles and romantic speeches aren't just enough to captivate ourself. Any guy out there is capable to melt any girl with a smile, not just to only u. The same sentences, with the same sneaky smiles... had been given to many girls by the same guy. And u still believe that u are the only one special to him...?

And this is what I’ve comments on Dina’s blog:

agreed, dunia semakin liar skarang, so, do the thinking la kan? kalo senang2 layan jantan, people will judge you as a whore, straight simple, heh, and if the jantan always ligan perempuan, don't trust him la, even so, our best friend could go againts u nowadays, so, carefully choose your friends, be picky, don't give a damn what people would say, its your world you're livin in, "if you don't want a stranger in your house, don't let them in" rite?

K girls? Do the thinking, don’t just simply trust anyone who acted well, man, it could just be a drama, who would’ve known rite? A fabricated personality, so that people will see us as a good person, heh, I like this sentence a lot, “if you wanna know a true self of a person, get to know people around them”, there’s a lot of truth in it, and I’m holding on to it good,

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!!Construct your word
( Tuesday, August 15, 2006 )

Salam, how's life people? Hope all flowing smooth eh? hehe, yesterday my MMU supervisor came, man, i was afraid like hell cause i never submit my week log to my company supervisor, and i'm not knowing how this Mr Ng is, it sure sent cold shivers through my whole body man, just hoping so this Mr Ng is a cool guy, hehe

luckily, he is, a cool guy, man, we had a nice talk together, we even joking around, man, he surely can be made friend, i like him already even on the first met, even my company was not in yesterday, and he was cool with that as well, Mr Ng, i love you sooo much, muaahhh, hahaha,

hmm, i would like to say something here though, a bit provocative, so if you think you couldn't handle it, stop your reading here,

people always dissing me reading comics or ridicolous reading stuff such as extraterrestrials (is the spelling correct? hope so, haha), mysteries, hey, for me, its just for entertainment, same cases when people read bout artist, gossip, merely for entertainment, i don't quite interested i that kinda entertainment though, so i go for comics, or the academical term is, graphical novels, heheh, its more to a hobby already, if people ask me what my hobby is? heh, reading will be a part of my answer, surely, it is wasting time, yes it is, but how bout other kinda reading? was it not wasting time? hmm?